If you are looking for some way to reflect on your marriage and its health this year, or to get a marriage tuneup as part of your new year’s resolution process, Kevin Deyoung over at TGC put together 15 simple questions that might be an aid to your reflection, prayer life or ways to stimulate discussion with your spouse. Here you go:
Here are 15 questions to help you and your spouse take the relational temperature of your marriage:
1. How often do we laugh together?
2. When is last time we had a meaningful conversation about something other than our schedules or the kids?
3. Do we ever turn on music and sing and dance and act silly?
4. How many times in the last month have we prayed together or read the Bible together?
5. Do we ever hold hands?
6. Has our physical intimacy grown cold, infrequent, or a source of too much pressure and stress?
7. When is the last time we said “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you”?
8. When is the last time we said “Thank you” for regular, ordinary task like making dinner, doing the dishes, paying the bills, fixing the car, or folding the laundry?
9. When is the last time we (cheerfully!) said, “How can I help you this week” (and meant it)?
10. When is the last time we surprised each other with a gift, a note, or a night out?
11. Have we raised our voices at one another in the last month?
12. Are we finding ourselves more eager to spend time with someone at work, at church, or at the gym than we are with each other?
13. When we have time together at home, just the two of us, is the television always on in the background?
14. Are there hurts or sins or fears that we need to disclose to one another?
15. How might the love of God the Father, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit shape our life together in this season of marriage?
I hope these marriage tuneup questions are fruitful for the second most important relationship you can ever cultivate in this life, the first being your relationship with God.